Happy New Year

“The world is ready to welcome the New Year, and here at New York City, we’re reporting live from the Times Square where hundreds of people from all over the globe have gathered to see the Ball drop at midnight,” the reporter was saying on the live broadcast from the Times Square as Mr. Duncan watched the news on the TV set in his hospital room.

“Excited for the New Year, Mr. Duncan?” the young surgeon asked her patient as she entered the room for her regular rounds.

“It depends. Do you have good news for me, Dr. Evans?” Mr. Duncan asked his doctor.

“As a matter of fact I do. UNOS called us this morning, they have a new liver for you. Congratulations, Mr. Duncan, you’re going to get your liver tonight!” Dr. Evans squeezed her patient’s hands gently as Mr. Duncan cried his happy tears while processing this piece of information.

David Duncan was diagnosed with a severe case of liver cirrhosis over 2 years ago, and was admitted to St. Peter’s Memorial Hospital, New York. Over the past 2 years Mr. Duncan had faced too many near-death experiences, he had been in and out of the hospital and had been through multiple surgeries, but every time the bottom line was the same, he desperately needed a new liver. David Duncan was almost 70, but one could tell he was not done with his life quite yet. He still dreamt of finishing his bucket list and to watch the Knicks win the next basketball season for the City.

When Dr. Katherine Evans was assigned to Mr. Duncan’s case she was a senior resident at St. Peter’s. All these years of medical treatments, surgeries and hospital visits had made Katherine to grow a close bond with Mr. Duncan. It was more personal than a doctor-patient relationship. Katherine had been with Mr. Duncan through all his past surgeries, post-op cares and those various medical tests. For Mr. Duncan, Katherine was more like the daughter he never had than his doctor.

Over the last few months, Mr. Duncan had somewhat accepted his final fate, but it was Katherine’s tenacious attitude that had given him the last ray of hope. Katherine was adamant in finding a new liver for her patient, so when UNOS called her that morning, she had felt like all the prayers and the struggles of the past 2 years were finally being answered.

“You’re scheduled for surgery tonight at 9:00. Sounds good?” Katherine asked her patient.

“Sounds perfect,” Mr. Duncan replied smiling widely.

Katherine let the nurse prepare Mr. Duncan for his pre-op care and left the room as her pager beeped, it was 911. She ran to the ER and saw series of ambulances filing outside the ER. She was stunned for a moment, working at a trauma hospital always had its perks.

“What happened?” Katherine asked the first paramedic who stepped out of the ambulance carrying a gurney.

“A New Year party gone wrong. Fire shows near an open bar, not a pretty picture,” the paramedic said breathlessly as he carried a severely burnt victim on the gurney.

“Okay, got it. Take him to Trauma 1, the nurse will page the on call plastic surgeon right away,” said Katherine urgently as a nurse followed the paramedic to the trauma room.

“28 year old, female, Emily Stevenson, with severe injuries to the stomach and the spine,” said another paramedic carrying a gurney out of the second ambulance.

“I got this,” Katherine ran towards the ER door and took the gurney from the paramedic. She took a look at the patient and told one of the ER nurses, “Page Neuro and Ortho to Trauma 2, ASAP!”

“Emily? Emily, can you hear me?” Katherine asked the patient as she pushed the gurney to Trauma 2.

“I… I was standing near the bar, and then suddenly everything was on fire….” Emily sobbed, “And… and everyone was running, but… but I couldn’t… I couldn’t run! The ceiling, it… it fell over…” Emily couldn’t even finish her sentence, she was in too much pain and completely beyond any comprehension.

“Okay, okay. Emily, I need you to calm down, I’m going to give you some morphine for your pain. You’re safe now, you’re at St. Peter’s Memorial Hospital, and we’ll do everything to save you, alright?” Katherine assured Emily as she checked the patient for a steady heart rhythm.

“The heart sounds alright,” Katherine said after a while to the nurse who was attaching the IV drip to Emily’s arms, “But still page Cardio, just to be sure,” she said finally readjusting her stethoscope.

“Someone paged Neuro?” asked a young male doctor entering the trauma room.

“Ethan, good you’re here. This is Emily Stevenson, 28, with severe spinal and abdominal injuries. I paged Ortho and Cardio as well,” Katherine said to the young male neurosurgeon Dr. Ethan Watson as she continued checking the patient’s abdomen.

“Okay, Emily, I am Dr. Ethan Watson, will you please follow my finger,” Ethan motioned his right index finger in different directions and checked Emily’s optical response. “Can you wiggle your fingers and toes for me, Emily?” Ethan asked the patient, further checking Emily’s motor responses.

“Her brain activities seem fine to me, but still it’s better to get a head CT just to be completely certain,” Ethan informed Katherine while updating Emily’s chart.

“Okay, then order a head and an abdominal CT for Emily.” Katherine told the nurse.

“Hey, you guys paged Ortho and Cardio?” asked the two female doctors entering the trauma room as Katherine and Ethan briefed them on the case.

“Okay, so page me if you need me in the OR, but right now. I’ve got to run, I have a craniotomy scheduled,” said Ethan before rushing off to his OR.

“Well, the heart sounds good,” said the Head of the cardiothoracic surgery department Dr. Sarah Andrews after checking Emily thoroughly, “But still if you need me during the surgery, page me,” she said before leaving the room to attend other patients.

“Yeah, the spine needs surgery,” Dr. Amanda Davies, Head of the orthopedic surgery department, finally said after looking at Emily’s spine and ordered some spinal scans for further study, “I’ll be there in the OR with you, Katherine.” Dr. Davies confirmed.

“Okay, so get Emily’s test results right away, and then prep her for surgery as soon as you can, book OR-3,” Katherine instructed the nurse as she continued updating Emily’s medical chart.

“But, Dr. Evans, you have a liver transplant scheduled for 9:00 pm, and it’s already 6:30,” the Head ER nurse reminded Katherine, after checking Katherine’s schedule, as two of the junior nurses took Emily for her scans.

“Shit!” Katherine exclaimed cursing her memory and her circumstances.

Katherine was a single mother, she was 32, and she had adopted a beautiful baby girl earlier that year whose biological mother was a 16 year old teenager. Katherine could still remember the day when that 16 year old girl had begged Katherine to adopt her baby, because she was in no way ready to be a mother. The girl was living in Brooklyn and her family was in no condition to raise a baby, neither financially nor emotionally. The father of the child was a raging 18 year old drug addict who had no idea that he had a daughter. Katherine knew that it was killing the girl to let go off her child, but the girl understood it very well that she couldn’t raise a baby, but Katherine could, after all Katherine Evans was a successful general surgeon living in Upper East Side, Manhattan. Katherine fell in love with the baby girl the moment she led eyes on her, those beautiful blue eyes made it impossible for Katherine to let the adoption agencies take her away, Katherine couldn’t help but feel protective about the little angel, and so, she decided to adopt the baby girl. Katherine named her Alex, short for Alexandra, after her birth mother.

It was New Year’s Eve, the whole world had been preparing for this final countdown for the past month as they welcome the New Year with renewed joy and enthusiasm, with promises and vows for all the new beginnings. It was supposed to be Alex’s first New Year’s Eve, and Katherine wanted nothing more than to go home and spend it with her 11 months old daughter and her mother who had visited Katherine for every New Year’s Eve ever since Katherine had moved to the City.

“Should I reschedule Mr. Duncan’s liver transplant for tomorrow morning then?” the Head ER nurse asked Katherine.

“No, the liver is already here, it has to be tonight. Okay, reschedule it for 12:00 in the midnight. Hopefully we’ll be able to finish up with Emily’s surgery by around 11:00 pm,” Katherine said doing a quick mental calculation.

“But, Dr. Evans, it’s New Year’s Eve,” the nurse said hesitantly.

Katherine chuckled softly, “Don’t worry, Mary, I’ll page the on call nurse. I know it’s your first New Year’s Eve with your son since he has returned from Iraq after 5 years,” Katherine said with a warm smile.

“That’s not it, Dr. Evans, I was talking about your daughter,” Mary said with a motherly smile.

“Well, I’m sure she will have loads of fun with her grandma. Her mother’s got lives to save,” Katherine said with as much enthusiasm as she could gather at that moment.

Before Mary could say anything else, Katherine’s pager buzzed. “Emily’s scans are up,” Katherine said checking the message, “Get her to OR-3, Dr. Davies and I will go look at the scans,” Katherine said to Mary as she paged the orthopedic surgeon and went off to look at Emily’s scans.

30 minutes later, at around 7:15 pm, Katherine and Dr. Amanda Davies scrubbed in for Emily’s surgery. It was almost a 3 hours long surgery, Emily had a massive renal bleed in the left kidney and a ruptured spleen, Katherine had to get rid of the spleen, but she was able to repair the kidney, and Dr. Davies was able to fix Emily’s spinal fractures, but Emily would be going through a long and painful post-op recovery period and months of physiotherapy sessions.

It was around 11.30 pm when they left OR-3 finishing up with Emily. Katherine made a quick round to Mr. Duncan’s room before his surgery to see how he was doing. She had never seen David Duncan so happy, his eyes were filled with sheer joy and immense happiness, and it felt like he had just found a new sense of hope and purpose in his life. He was about to get his new liver, he was about to live his life again rather than just surviving it.

Before being taken off to the OR, Mr. Duncan held Katherine’s hands and said in a trembling voice with a soft smile and teary eyes, “Thank you for gifting me this new life, Katherine. I promise I won’t disappoint you.”

As Katherine stood there in that empty hospital room, Mr. Duncan’s words kept on playing inside Katherine’s head. Those words reminded her of the reason she had decided to choose this profession all those years ago, she was reminded of the oath she had taken in med school, she was reminded what it meant to be a surgeon and to hold someone else’s life in your hands. She had the power and the knowledge to save people’s lives, and with that knowledge, comes the responsibility, and she hoped that one day, Alex would also be able to feel extremely proud of her mother’s work.

Katherine let out a heavy sigh and wiped off the single tear that had rolled down her cheek, and said to herself, “Get it together, Evans. You’ve got a job to do.” And with that, Dr. Katherine Evans cleared her voice, squared off her shoulders, and headed towards the OR to scrub in for her liver transplant surgery.

“It’s almost 11:59 pm on the 31st of December, 2017. The whole world has started the countdown to the New Year. Few seconds are left on the clock to welcome the New Year. Everyone all around the globe is ready to celebrate this moment with their loved ones, and here at New York Times Square the Ball is about to drop,” the reporter continued reporting live from the Times Square,

“10… 9… 8…”

At St. Peter’s Memorial Hospital, Dr. Katherine Evans entered OR-1. She smiled and said to her patient softly, “Go to sleep, Mr. Duncan, you’ll be as good as new when you wake up,” and the on call anesthesiologist put Mr. Duncan under.

“7… 6… 5…”

Katherine looked around the OR at all the assisting nurses and interns, and said, smiling warmly, “Okay, everyone, let’s get started. It’s a beautiful night to save lives.”

“4… 3… 2… 1… Happy New Year!” as the whole world cheered and celebrated, Dr. Katherine Evans looked up and stretched her right arm towards the attending nurse of her OR, and asked, “Ten blade?”

“It’s a beautiful day to save lives.” – Dr. Derek Shepherd, Grey’s Anatomy.

Origin, Atheism, And, Religion!

“Where do we come from? Where are we going?”

These are the two fundamental questions of the human race.

The origin of life and its fate is a topic of curiosity for both atheists and religious pundits alike. While the atheists put forward the scientific theories of the ‘primordial soup’ and ‘Darwinian evolution’, believers mostly go along the lines of ‘Adam and Eve’, Lord Brahma, etc. etc. You must be wandering why am I ranting about these already known facts, to answer your question I would just say one name Dan Brown.

I’ve always been an overly outspoken atheist, I could never stand those religious zealots, the self-appointed ‘messengers of God’, and those foolish human souls who believe and take shelter under the blessings of the so called ‘Almighty’. I have never understood why people say religion gives them hope, and in certain cases, even a reason to live! I’ve always believed that knowledge acts as the beacon of hope for the mankind, knowing the unknown, and that only by touching and seeing it can we truly believe in it.

I recently finished reading the novel ‘Origin by Dan Brown which essentially dealt with the two questions, “Where do we come from? Where are we going?”

He answered the question of origin of life on this planet by explaining Miller & Urey’s classic ‘Primordial Soup Experiment’, and thus referred that the process of origin of life might as well have been an abiogenesis process following the laws of physics, rather than the laws of biology. I, being a bioscience student, have always found it extremely unsettling and contradictory considering the fact that the entire living community on this planet is thriving based on some mode of reproduction or other, be it vegetative, asexual, or sexual, so naturally, the concept of abioginesis in relation to the origin of life have always been a bit of a shocker to me. But, Mr. Brown beautifully explained the concept of ‘order & chaos’, how the universe creates small packets of orders in order to create a larger wave of disorders, in other words, how large build up of energy eventually leads to the scattering of energy. Change in entropy, as we all know it, is one of the building blocks of this universe, and may as well be one the building blocks of the origin of life within the primordial soup. Thus, Mr. Brown further inferred that life might have well been created on this planet all those billions years ago just as a form to dissipate energy, which eventually led to Darwinian evolution because, as I understand, life always finds a way to continue its flow.

You see, the problem with this sort of explanation is that it throws away all the religious concepts of ‘ Genesis’, it throws away the entire religious community of the world right under the bus, because the theory of the origin of human civilization is the foundation of any religion on this planet. Teaching their followers about the Divine mystical power that orchestrated the entire process of Genesis is essentially the bread and butter of all the religious fraternities across the globe. History is the proof of how science has questioned religion in every step of human evolution, and we know how religion retaliated to that questioning over the past centuries, Socrates, Copernicus, Galileo, the examples are plenty.

Human mind is one of the most precious gifts of nature, its inquisitiveness, its creativity, its compassion have made it possible for the human beings to defend their position at the top of the food chain for the past many millennia. We’ve either successfully learnt to adapt with the change, or sometimes, we’ve become the change ourselves. Our thirst to know the unknown has led us to the most astounding discoveries of mankind, whereas, our fear of the unknown led us to believe in the existence of the Divine. I understand that universe do act in mysterious ways, in ways that are far beyond the reach of science at times, but is that really due to power of God? What is a mystery? A mystery is something that hasn’t been defined by science yet. Science is a progressive concept, which evolves with mankind, it is subjected to change, and a phenomenon which seems like a mystery today, might as well become a perfectly explained scientific incident in the future. There was a time when people used to think that the earth is as flat as a board and once you cross the horizon, you’d fall off the edge of the planet. But, the story is not quite the same now, is it?

Well, people may ask, if everything in this universe is controlled by the laws of science, then who controls the laws?

I’d like to answer that question like Mr. Brown did, ‘Nature’!

When none of us were here, Nature was. Nature is not the Garden of Eden, nor a work of Divine miracle, it was nurtured carefully and meticulously by the elements of this Universe, sun, wind, water, lightning. Everything started with Nature and everything is controlled by Nature, even the laws of science. This Universe is not a cold, lifeless entity, it has its own soul that has nothing to do with Lord Brahma or Jesus or Prophet Muhammad. The Universe just exists, with or without ‘God’.

Life originated in the very lap of Nature and humanity was a gift that Nature gave the Universe all those years ago, humans have survived through the process of natural selection, we’ve perfected ourselves over the past centuries, we became Homo sapiens from Neanderthals. We became humane. Losing our humanity in the hands of some religious deities, or even in the hands of technology, is not only an insult to the entire mankind, but also an insult to the Universe itself.

God didn’t create Adam and Eve, nor did Lord Brahma create human beings from his body parts, it was the forces of Nature that created life, and it was our struggle for existence that has made us the most advanced species on this planet.

So, if you want to believe in something, believe in yourself, believe in mankind and humanity, but above all, believe in Nature.

“Nothing is invented, for it is written in nature first. Originality consists of returning to the origin.” – Antoni Gaudí.

365 days….

365 days… that’s how long our earth takes to complete one revolution around the sun. 365 days… that’s how long it takes to complete one whole year. 365 days… that’s how long it takes for a person to turn his life around. People usually think it’s just one year, what big can happen in a year!? I say, a lot! If you start to think about how your life was one year back compared to how your life is now, you’ll know what a year can do to your life.

A year ago, I lost the love of my life, at least I thought he was the love of my life. To say that I was messed up would be an understatement. I couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep, instead of living my life, I was just surviving it. I became a stranger to myself. I have never really been a people’s person, but a year ago, I became someone whom I myself couldn’t recognize. I loved him with everything I had in me, I gave him my everything, sounds cliché, but yeah, he left me. I lost my virginity with him, not something I’m proud of, but we all do crazy things when we are in love, right!? So, I was literally left with nothing and that broke me. One year ago, I lost something which I can never get back.

Last year, I also graduated from my college and had no idea what to do next or where to apply for my master’s degree. I had a fall out with my parents, but like most other middle class Indian kid, I had to choose my parents’ wishes over my own dreams. I wasn’t strong enough to come out of my comfortable science background and choose my dream career in journalism, I couldn’t gather up the courage to say no to master’s degree and say yes to journalism. And if you are from India, I think you have a pretty good idea which side my parents chose when it came to journalism versus M.Sc. I was devastated, home became a prison, but somehow, I prepared myself for the 2 years of torture and applied for M.Sc.

So with a shattered heart and a shattered dream I stepped into my new life as a M.Sc. post-graduate student. And boy oh boy, who knew I’ll come across the most crazy ass bunch of people on this planet! They made me happy. They made me forget about my shattered heart and my shattered dream. I’ve had the craziest, funniest times with these people. They’ve barely known me for past one year, but they made me get over something I thought I never could. If I was miserable, they were even more miserable than me. I meet them every day in my classes, and they make my post-graduation life easier every day.

One year ago, I lost myself, I lost my life. 365 days… that’s how long it took me to glue up my broken pieces back together again. 365 days… that’s how long it took me to realize that you can love more than one person in this life. 365 days… that’s how long it took me to understand that your dreams are your own, and you don’t need anyone’s permission to pursue them. 365 days… that’s how long it took me to accept the fact that sometimes, just sometimes, leaning upon someone for support doesn’t make you weak.

I have learnt a lot about myself and about people in the past one year.

What have you done with your life lately?

“Like keep grindin’ boy, your life can change in one year. And even when it’s dark out, the sun is shining somewhere.” – Unknown.



Time and tide wait for no one.

Time passed, and I grew up, and so did you.

I lost my trust in happily ever afters,

I lost my trust in our friendship, in you!

We promised each other “till death do us part”,

Who knew that friendship can have such eternal vows!?

But with time, even those vows lost their meaning.

We promised to never change,

But, oh God, wasn’t that the biggest lie of the decade!

We promised each other of hearts and flowers, and of rainbows and unicorns, and all other possible happy endings.

How bloody naive we were, right!?

If you ask me whether I wanna rewind time and go back to being the 16 year old girl when we all were together and high school seemed like heaven, I’ll say,  “No!”

Because now I know how you all have changed, and how I’ve changed. 

Because I’ve realised high school was like living a life wearing the blindfold, and now I’ve taken off that blindfold!

Now I’ve seen how all of you act when thrown in the world of reality.

So, no, I don’t miss high school, nor do I miss those memories,

Because now I know all of you for who you all truly are,

Now I know how much I hate that 16 year old girl who believed in dreams coming true and in ‘best friends forever’ drama!

Time showed me the reality that high school might be the best part of our lives, but it’s all the biggest lie of our lives!

Nothing is forever, except ‘Time’!


Her Secret!

Author’s note: Hello my lovelies, I know I’m a lot late but please don’t kill me, I was away on a family trip! 😅 But now I’m back with a new chapter of ‘Her Secret!’ Yayyyy!!! So, read on….. 😘

To the new readers, please read the earlier chapters of the story and then come back to this one! Thank you! 😊

P.S.: Don’t forget to read the Foot Note guys! 😉

Quick recap: ….. the last thing I remember was ripping off D’s shirt as he buried himself deep inside of me and I spiralled down through my orgasm thinking of that same pair of brown eyes and moaning only one name, ‘Z…..!’…

  • Chapter – 7:

“You left me! You promised me you wouldn’t but you did! You didn’t only take away my heart, you took away our friendship as well!”

The next morning I woke up with a heart warming, mind boggling, delicious smell of pancakes. I smiled to myself saying, “Make 12 for me, mum!” And I instantly realised something, I was lying naked covered in some white bedsheets in an unknown empty bed of an unknown apartment. 

“Holy fuck!” I sat up hyperventilating, trying to cover myself up as much as possible. My head was pounding as everything from last night started coming back to me slowly, the club, the drinking, the dancing, D and then came the worst part, “I moaned Z’s name while having sex with D!!!! Oh Lord, NO!!!! Great job A, you screwed up monumentally!” I grabbed my head groaning, “Why am I such a hopeless case!?” While I was having a wonderful trip inside my mind cursing the shit out of myself for my incredible stupidity, the bedroom door opened and I shrieked out realising that I’m still naked under the sheets. 

“Relax babe, there’s nothing under there that I haven’t already seen before!” said a very hot, shirtless, wet haired D, with a smirk. Why can’t they just wear a shirt!? It doesn’t take too long to just put on a damn shirt! I think they just love torturing our ovaries! “Like what you see!?” D smirked making me turn into a brilliant shade of red. He chuckled, “I’m just kidding! Here, I made you some pancakes and here’s some Aspirin for your headache and for the killer hangover!” He said handing me a warm plate of pancakes and the tablet. “And you know, you should probably put some clothes on, not that I mind seeing you like this but still! Since, I put your dress from last night in the laundry, you can wear some of my shirts! It will be a little large on you but I guess it has to do for now!” He continued saying while searching for something for me to wear in his wardrobe. To say that I was beyond surprised with his kindness and generosity, after how I massively messed up our night together, would be an understatement. 

“Thank you, but really, you don’t need to do all these for me. I could just leave!” I said looking down at my hands and fidgeting with my fingers. “Who’s Z?” He suddenly asked me making me jerk my head up to look at him. He was already looking at me with an expression of hurt, or was it jealousy? I must be hallucinating! I looked away from D unable to answer him. “I’m sorry, forget what I said. I shouldn’t have interfered in your private life. My bad!” He smiled apologetically. I really wanted to tell him everything but I’ve known him for less than 24 hours, so I just nodded my head looking up at him. 

“Here, wear this shirt and freshen up! Eat the pancakes before they get cold, I swear they taste good!” He smiled handing me one of his shirts. I was about to get up and wear the shirt when D said in a rather serious tone, “Last night wasn’t some random one night stand for me,” before closing the door behind him as he left the room. This left me absolutely flabbergasted and feeling extremely light headed. I sat back on the bed thinking, “What was all that supposed to mean!” My phone started ringing breaking my chain of thoughts, it was my mum. I picked up her call saying that I was fine and was at S’s place and we just woke up. I cut the call after telling her that I’ll be back home by the afternoon and went to the washroom attached to the bedroom to freshen up a bit and wore the shirt D gave me. It smelt so different from Z’s shirts, they both are so very different. And here I go again, I need to stop thinking about him and stop comparing everyone with him all the time!
I quickly finished the pancakes, which I must say were absolutely yummm, and gulped down the Aspirin for my headache. Soon, I was feeling a lot better and so, I decided that I need to talk to D and find some answers about what he meant earlier. I left the room to look around the apartment for D. The apartment was beautiful and was mostly decorated in black and white, it needed a bit more colour to it, but still it was beautiful. As I was checking out the apartment, I found D sitting in the living room, staring outside the window and sipping his coffee. I don’t know why, but he looked a bit sad! I cleared my throat to get his attention and he jerked his head towards me. His eyes roamed all over my body, travelling from my bare legs to my chest and then finally upto my eyes, his gaze darkening with each passing moment, it was not just lust but there was something more behind those dark gazes which I couldn’t comprehend and funnily enough, I was not afraid of him, I know I should be because I hardly know him, but still I wasn’t!

“You look good!” He finally said breaking the awkward silence. “Yeah, thanks for lending me your shirt!” I said taking a seat next to him on the couch. He smiled nodding his head once and went back to his coffee. “Okay, I need to talk to him, desperate need,” I thought clearing my throat once again and started, “What did you mean earlier when you said that it was not a random one night thing for you?” D suddenly got up saying, “You should probably get ready, it’s already getting late, I’ll drop you at your place!” “Hey, answer me!” I got up and caught his hand before he could turn away from me. He looked down at my hand holding his and flinched as if my touch burnt him. I quickly let go off his hand, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be rude, but really, why would you say something like that?” I asked looking at him. I could see the struggle behind those eyes but why, he just knew me from last night, we are practically strangers, then why this struggle?

He closed his eyes letting out a frustrated groan and said, “Don’t blame me for whatever happens next! You asked for it!” “Asked for what?” Before I could even complete my sentence properly, he pulled me in his arms and kissed me. A kiss that made my toes curl and my knees weak. I clutched his shirt tightly so that I don’t lose my balance and end up on the floor. He held me up against his body, wrapping one of his arms around my waist while his other arm was lost inside my hair. I was in such a trance that I couldn’t even respond or kiss him back. He broke the kiss after a few seconds, which almost felt like a decade, leaving us both panting. He looked down at me still holding me in his arms.

“You’re in love with someone else, last night was enough for me to know that. But, I will make sure that next time when we spend the night together, I’m the only person on your mind and my name is the only name you’re moaning. I don’t know who this Z guy is, but I’ll make you mine A and only mine, no matter what! And I always get what I want!” He said with so much passion that it stunned me. 

I broke away from his embrace saying, “But we hardly know each other! It was just last night!”

“I told you it was anything but just a random night for me. I can’t explain why I feel this way towards you, but I just do!” He said caressing my cheek. “Don’t worry, I will never force you into anything but something tells me that you wouldn’t be still standing here in my living room wearing my shirt if you weren’t attracted to me by even a bit!” He looked at me intently. This rendered me speechless. Was I attreacted to D? Yes, I was, but Z is still the only guy that I can possibly think of, I know he will never love me like I love him but I can’t stop loving him. It would’ve been so much easier if I could feel all these emotions for D instead of Z, but I just can’t, not now, not ever. So, I looked up sadly at D saying, “Yes, I’m attracted to you but my heart isn’t, it already belongs to someone else and that’s not gonna change. So, I’m really sorry but you’re running behind a lost cause.” 

“I know that but still I wanna save you from all that you’re going through A!” He said stubbornly. “You can’t save someone who don’t wanna be saved!” I told him rather sharply losing my temper. 

He clenched his jaws looking at me and cupped my face before whispering softly to me, “I will save you even if you push me away, I will break down those walls even if you don’t want me to because you may not want to be saved now A, but you need to be saved.”

“Why are you doing this for me?” I asked him exasperated, my voice breaking. “Because I can and I want to,” he said kissing my forehead. “Your dress is in the guest room, go get dressed before I change my mind and decide to throw you back in my bed.” With that he turned around and walked back to the bedroom. 

I sighed and shook my head chuckling, D was about to get hurt if he continues like this. I don’t wanna hurt him but he is running behind someone who’s long gone. I can’t be saved, he has to understand this. I don’t want him to end up being shattered and broken like I am, I know how it feels and I will never want that for D, never! I’ve lost Z but D doesn’t deserve this. He needs to stay away from me for his own good because I have already given my everything to someone else and I can’t give anything more to D.

“When you walked away from my life, you took away everything with you, my trust, my love, even our friendship. But still, I can never bring myself to blame you for any of it! I know some things are never meant to be but that doesn’t mean my love wasn’t true, Z!” I whispered slowly to the empty living room as silent tears started rolling down my cheeks. 

The heart wants what it wants.” – Woody Allen.

Foot note: So, what do you think about the chapter? Or more importantly, AD or AZ, whom are you shipping guys? And do you want me to bring Z back in the story? Please do tell me your suggestions and opinions! 😁

Some of you asked me if Z is based on some real character of my life. So to answer your question, yes he is, Z is as much of a real life character as he is a fictional character!

Hope you liked this chapter and please do comment guys! Xoxo…. – Love, A. 😘

Her Secret! 

Author’s note: Okay, so this is not a story update but I was planning on a casting team for the characters of “Her Secret!” 😁

Please do tell me what do you think of the casting! 😉

A – Emma Watson

Z – Zayn Malik

V – Shawn Mendes

S – Nina Dobrev

D – Nathaniel Buzolic

J – Michael Trevino 

G – Lucy Hale

A’s mom – Kate Winslet 

Foot note: So, what do you think of the casting!? Please comment down your thoughts on this one! 😁

Love you all, xoxo…. – A. 😘

Her Secret!

Author’s note: Hello readers, so here’s Chapter 6 of “Her Secret!” The chapter is strictly for 18+ readers so if you’re younger than 18 then read at your own risk! As for others, read on my lovelies…. 😘

For new readers, please do read the previous chapters of “Her Secret!” first then come back to this one! Thank you! 😊

P.S. Read the Foot Note at the end of the chapter! 😉

  • Chapter- 6:

All I wanted for him was to fight for me, just this once, or is it also too much to ask!?”

3 weeks, that’s how long it has been since I last talked to him! 3 weeks, since I’ve last seen him or heard from him! 3 weeks, since I’ve had a good night’s sleep, 3 weeks since I’ve properly talked or interacted with anyone! Every morning I somehow manage to leave my bed and dress myself up for college. College and assignments are the only thing still keeping me sane, otherwise I would have lost it by now! 

But today, it’s Saturday, and I woke up to the horrible nagging ringtone of my phone. I checked the caller id and groaned cutting the call. After a few minutes, it started ringing again, this time I picked it up and said in my most annoyed voice, “WHAT!” 

“Well, wow, someone woke up on the wrong side of her bed! Good morning to you too, sunshine!” She said in her ever energetic voice. “What do you want S?” I sighed.

S is my best bae, my soul sister, my 4am buddy, my partner in crime in all unholy things possible, my personal fashion guru because according to her, I have zero fashion sense, well yeah, basically she’s my best girlfriend!

“First of all, I want you to leave that bed of yours, it’s almost 11, and second of all, we’re going clubbing tonight! Yay!” I could picture her clapping her hands with joy. 

“Well firstly, no! And secondly, no way in hell!” I was never ever going clubbing with her after my horrible first experience where she almost got herself kicked out of the club for a brilliant show of drunk strip tease! No, not happening again!

“Oh come on A! Don’t be such a party pooper!” She begged, she’s such a kid at times! “I go to the club with you and then what, watch you take off your clothes again? No, thank you!” I rolled my eyes.

“Hey, that was only one time! And today, it’s not about me, it’s about you! Specially after what happened with Z!” She said quietly. S was again one of the very few people who knew all about me and Z, besides V. “Don’t bring him up please!” I said, even hearing his name hurts so much. “Exactly, this is why you need a wild night, just to let loose a bit!” She said ever so enthusiastically.

I must say her enthusiasm is infectious, I finally gave in and said, “Okay fine, I’ll go, but no drunk strip tease show this time, deal?” “Yes! Done! I’ll be at your place by 7 in the evening, I’ll bring your dress, so don’t even bother to use your oh-so-non-existent fashion sense!” She said in her superior fashionista tone.

“Hey, my fashion sense is quiet cool!” I tried to defend myself. “Bitch please, if it was on you, you would’ve wore a jeans and a sweatshirt to the club!” She said chuckling. “What’s wrong with jeans and sweatshirt!?” I asked incredulously. “And you ask me what’s wrong with your fashion sense!? I’ll meet you tonight and no whining about the dress and the make up!” She said like some strict teacher. “Yes, ma’am!” I shook my head cutting the call.

A wild night, huh!? I guess I deserve that after 3 weeks of absolute numbness. I sighed and left my bed to work on some of my college assignments. When my slumber is ruined anyway, why not do something productive!


I was busy the whole day with my assignments and stuffs and it was soon 7. Time really flies by when you desperately want it to slow down! S barged in through my bedroom door at exactly 7. “Yeah, no need to knock at all! It’s perfectly cool!” I said sarcastically. “Oh, shut up, you know you love me! Now come here and give me a hug!” I laughed at that and soon was engulfed in a bone crushing hug. “I missed you so much!” She said while hugging me. “We only met yesterday in college!” I said chuckling. “So? It’s been more than 24 hours, that’s just so long!” She’s such a drama queen!

“So, what’s with the dress and make up?” I asked her. “Oh yeah!” She went to grab a dress from one of the many bags she brought with herself and handed it over to me. When I saw the dress, I let out a shriek, “Where’s the back? And please don’t tell me I have to wear it without jeans!” She rolled her eyes while taking out her own dress and said, “It’s backless you dufus! And no, it’s a dress, no jeans or leggings!” “Are you kidding me!? It’s not a dress, it’s just a piece of red cloth!” I said revoltingly. “Stop being such a prude! You’re wearing it or not!?” She asked in a no nonsense tone. “Okay okay! The things I do for you!” I went off to change my clothes grumbling. “Good girl!” She smiled while changing into her own dress.

After we both changed into our dresses, S did my make up and I let my hair down. She was looking absolutely gorgeous in her little black dress that came upto her mid-thighs and hugged her body perfectly showing off her curves. “You look wow!” I complemented her. “Stop complementing me and just look at yourself.” She was examining me as if I was some masterpiece created by her. I checked myself in the mirror and I must say, my hair and makeup looked really good, but that dress, “I look like a prostitute! My boobs will fall out of this dress anytime and if it’s length was any shorter people would’ve gotten a good view of my undies!” Okay, I may be exaggerating but I’m the ‘jeans and tshirt’ type of a girl. Can you really blame me for that!? “Stop being so overdramatic will you! It fits your body perfectly and you have really hot legs, so why not show it off!” She winked at me. I sighed and lifted my hands up in surrender, “Whatever you say!” 

With that we left my house and drove to the club in S’s car. 

By the time we reached the club it was way past 9, and the club was already packed with people dancing, mostly grinding into each other. We went straight for the bar, making our way through the sea of dancing drunk hormonal people. 

We ordered our drinks to the bartender and while waiting for him to serve us, S asked me, “So what’s the deal with Z? Why haven’t you tried to talk to him yet?” I started playing with my fingers and said, “I know that if I talk to him he may come back, but for once, I want him to fight for me, fight for us! For once, I want him to ask me to stay with him! Or is too much to ask?” S looked at me for a while and asked me genuinely, “Do you think he loves you enough to fight for you? Do you really think he ever loved you that much? Do you think he wants to fight for you at all?” 

I looked away from her because I knew the answer, he doesn’t love me enough to fight for me, he’ll never ask me to stay, even I knew that! It’s just hard for me to accept that he doesn’t even care about us! Somewhere down the line, I forgot that I have always been his safe haven, his escape but never his reality, that place will always be reserved for someone else! I was after all a substitute, I forgot that over the time, but not anymore!

I looked up at S and asked her, “I have to let him go, won’t I?” I could tell she was feeling really bad for me, she smiled sadly, “Yes, you have to, babe!” She held my hands in hers giving them a light squeeze.

“Your drink ladies!” The bartender came back with our tray of tequila shots. “Let’s get drunk!” I announced. “Whoa, what happened to you!” She looked at me as if I just said I’m the new President of the United States. “I need something, anything, to numb this pain!” I told in a choking voice, gulping down one shot. She smiled at me reassuringly and said, “Fine then, let’s get drunk! Cheers!”

Some 10 or so shots later, I lost S. She went off to dance with some guy and I was left alone sitting at the bar, feeling extremely tipsy, so I ordered a glass of water to sober myself up a bit. After finishing my water, I was feeling much better and was about to go look for S when someone sat on the chair beside me and said, “May I offer to buy you a drink?” I looked up and was met with a completely drool worthy specimen of the human race. I soon realised that I was shamelessly gawking at this awesomely sexy guy, so I cleared my throat and replied, “Yeah, sure!” He gave me an absolutely panty dropping smirk while ordering our drinks.

“Stop it A! You’re supposed to be in love with someone else!” I scolded my subconscious. “Yeah right! That someone who has already left you!” My subconscious shot back at me.

That thought hurt bad, real bad, so I chugged down my entire drink in one go! “Whoa, slow down babe!” The guy beside me said. I gave him a flirtatious smirk and said, “I’m just getting started, babe!” Okay, I’m really drunk now! He chuckled, “So, what’s your name if I may ask!” “I’m A, and you are…?” “Hi I’m D! You’re here alone?” “No, I came with a friend but she has clearly ditched me for the night!” I grinned back at D. “Since you’re alone and so am I, may I ask you for a dance?” He asked in the most chivalrous way possible. “That depends! Are you any good in dancing?” I asked him raising my eyebrows. 

With that, D came really close to me, I could smell the alcohol in his breath, it was making me even more dizzy, and suddenly the air between us became thick with sexual tension. He leaned in close to my ears and whispered, “Why don’t you find that out for yourself?” And moved away from me, his eyes never leaving mine. I was reminded of a very different pair of brown eyes that used to look at me in this very particular way. I shook that thought off my mind and lead D to the dance floor grabbing his arms.

He pulled me close against his body holding me by my waist, and soon we were swaying our hips to the beat of the music, my back pressed against his strong muscular, toned chest. I could feel his lips against my neck, teasing me while his hands grabbed my waist harder. We started grinding into each other as his hands started roaming all over my body. I was feeling so hot, maybe it was the alcohol, but I was enjoying it, every bit of it! For the first time, in the past 3 weeks, I was feeling alive!

“You know we can make out here on the dance floor or we can continue this back at my place!” D whispered in my ears while kissing and sucking my earlobe. My whole body was on fire, there’s no way I’m stopping now! I know I’ll regret this in the morning, but for tonight I wanna let go, I wanna forget those familiar brown eyes, I wanna forget him, just for tonight! I turned around to face D, “Your place,” I replied breathlessly!

I found S dancing with a guy covered with tattoos before leaving the club with D and she told me to use protection not so subtly with a wink, to which I just gave her a playful grin. I quickly typed a text to my mum that I’ll be spending the night with S and drove off to D’s apartment in his car.

As we entered D’s apartment, our lips smacked with each others and he started kissing my neck while we ended up in his bedroom. The last thing I remember was ripping off D’s shirt as he buried himself deep inside of me, pounding harder with every breath and I spiralled down through my orgasm thinking of the same pair of brown eyes, that I promised I won’t think about ever again, and moaning that one particular name, “Z ….!!!”

Kiss me until I forget how terrified I am of everything wrong in my life!” – Unknown.

Foot note: Please don’t kill me, yeah I know it’s a really long chapter! I had so much fun writing it, I hope you like it too! Do comment me your thoughts and feedbacks! 

And what do you think will happen to A and Z in the future!? Wait till the nest chapter….. 

Love you all, xoxo….. – A. 😘

Her Secret! 

Author’s note: Hey people, so I’m back with Chapter 5 of “Her Secret!” Thank you so much for sticking by A and Z through all this time! Love you all! So here’s a new chapter for you guys! Read on! 😘

If you’re a new reader then I suggest you read the previous parts of “Her Secret!” first then come back to this one! Thank you! 😊

P.S.: Read the Foot Note! 😊

  • Chapter- 5:

Can you choose me even when your past comes back to you? Can you look me in the eye and swear to me that you don’t love her anymore?”

The next day when I woke up I could barely move my right arm. I was about to leave my bed when mom entered my room, “Oh glad you’re awake! Z is waiting downstairs for you!” With the mention of Z’s name, everything from last night came flooding back to me! “Tell him that I’m sick, I can’t see him right now!” I told my mom.

“Yeah, I can clearly see how sick you are!” I was about to ask my mom when did her voice become so manly but then I realised to whom that voice belonged, Z was standing right outside my bedroom door! How can he manage to look so good at eight in the morning, when he was busy attending a raging party last night, is still a mystery to me! Soon I realised that my jaw was hanging open and I had my bed hair, so I squealed and ran to the washroom just to make myself a bit more presentable. 

I heard my mom talking to Z as I closed the washroom door, “I’ll let you two talk. And I’m not letting you leave without having breakfast with us!” “Yes My Lady!” Z said heartily, I snorted and rolled my eyes. At times, I think my mom loves him more than she loves me, honestly!

When I was satisfied enough that I’m looking more or less like a girl and not like some drooling hibernating grizzly bear, I left the washroom and went back to my room. Z was sitting on my bed, looking outside the window, I walked upto him and sat across him, on the bed cross legged. I was trying to avoid his eyes when he said, “You know you have to look at me and tell me what happened last night A”, tugging a loose strand of hair behind my ear. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and kept on chanting a single mantra inside my head, “Don’t cry! Don’t cry! Please don’t cry!” I looked up at him and saw that he was already looking at me and I could tell he was worried out of his mind. So, I decided I’ll tell him everything, and I told him what happened last night, about what J said and why I left the party early, everything! By the time, I finished my story, he was fuming. He got up from the bed and started pacing my room. 

“I’ll kill him! I’ll fucking kill that son of a bitch!” I sighed, I knew this would happen, “You will do no such thing!” I was about to hold his hand when I remembered how fucked up my right arm is and I winced in pain. “What? What’s wrong?” Z asked, sitting back on the bed, taking my hand in his. He noticed how swollen and bruised my right arm was, “What the fuck!” He almost yelled out. “Keep it down will you! My mum is still in the kitchen!” I reminded him. “What did you do A?” He asked me frustrated, gritting his teeth together. “Oh boy! I’m so doomed! Get ready for your funeral A!” I was panicking mentally. 

“I will ask you one more time and you’ll answer me,  what did you do A?” This time, he was dangerously calm. I gulped down nervously and said, “I might have accidentally just punched the washroom wall?” It came out more like a question than an answer and I let out a nervous chuckle. “I’ll kill him!” And he meant it, I could tell that by looking at him, he will kill J if I don’t stop him.

“It doesn’t matter really! Whatever J said wasn’t fully wrong you know!” I finally told him what I’ve been feeling since last night.

“What?!” He was so taken aback by my statement that he couldn’t even process what I said.

“J was right in a way! I am fucking around with someone else’s man!” My voice was almost choking at this point. 
“What are you talking about?” Z asked. I looked away from him and remained silent. When he realised I wasn’t going to say anything, he asked, “What did you mean by that? Tell me A!” It was more like a demand. 

I gathered up my courage and finally asked him the one question that has been nagging inside my head since months now, “Tell me something honestly Z, if your past comes back to you, if G comes back to your life now, what will you do?” I asked him looking straight in his eyes. He didn’t respond, he couldn’t say anything in reply so I went on, 

“Can you deny the fact that a huge part of you still loves her? If she wants to come back to you now, can you say no to her? If in the future, you have to choose between me and her, what will your decision be Z? Can you choose me over her?”

“I….. I… umm… ” He couldn’t form any coherent sentence. I could tell he was trying really hard to face this harsh reality, so I just smiled, “You don’t have to answer me, because I know you and I know the answers, and deep down you know them too!” He looked at me defeated, because even he knew I was right. I smiled at him, “You will always be hers, your heart will always belong to her, so J was right! I was fucking around with someone else’s man!” I saw him flinch at my words but he didn’t stop me so I knew what I had to do, “But not anymore! I love you, so much, but I can’t do this! Whatever we have, clearly, it is not enough for either of us! I’ve never blamed you for anything Z and I’ll always be there for you as a friend but I can’t be with you like this! I’m sorry!” With that, I looked away from him. I was breaking inside but I really can’t do this anymore!

“But what if I don’t want you just as my friend?” He finally said. 

“Can you promise me you won’t leave me when your past comes back to you, when she comes back to you?” I asked him honestly, looking up at him.

I could see his struggle, he couldn’t look me in the eye and turned around. 

“That’s what I thought too!” I sighed sadly.

I crawled under my blanket, I just wanted to sleep, I felt so tired and drained. “Please close the door while you leave, will you?” I said before turning my face away from him.

I didn’t look up when he left my room, I heard him say bye to my mom and leave the house closing the front door.

“Goodbye Z!” I whispered to myself as a lone tear escaped my eyes and rolled down my cheek.

Sometimes ‘I love you’ just isn’t enough……” – Unknown.

Foot note: Okay, please don’t kill me, but hey it was an emotional chapter! 

Will A and Z get back together again? What will happen to them? Can Z let go off his past for A? Who knows! 😅

Wait for the next chapter and in the mean time, please do tell me how did you like Chapter 6? Please comment me your feedbacks and suggestions!

Love you all… xoxo… -A 😘

Her Secret! 

Author’s note: Hey guys, I’m giving you two updates in a week because I’m awesome! Lol! But jokes apart, here’s Chapter 4 of ‘Her Secret!’ So happy reading… 😘

P.S.: To the new readers, please read the Prologue and the first three chapters of ‘Her Secret!’ then come back to this one. Thank you! 😊

P.P.S.: Read the ‘foot note’ at the end of this chapter! It’s important! 😉

  • Chapter- 4:

We were living inside our little bubble of happiness but we forgot about the monsters that surround us wearing the most friendly faces!

I still can’t believe you registered my name as an Organising Committee member of the party!” I laughed while talking with Z over phone. We have been talking over the phone a lot lately. Hey, not that I’m complaining or anything!

So every year, our High School Alumni Committee organises a Spring Reunion Party for all the ex students of our school and as our batch of 2014 has been a part of the Committee for the past 3 years, we all know the drill pretty well by now! And this year also, it’s no different, our Spring Reunion Party has to be organised by us and thanks to Z here, I got myself stuck into the Organising Committee! Last year, I was an active member but this year I couldn’t work at all due to some family issues, but Z, being Z, decided that I have to be in the Organising Committee no matter what! I sometimes think that this boy gets his daily dose of pleasure by torturing me!

“I did because I can!” I heard him reply breaking my chain of thoughts with his usual cockiness. I could clearly picture him smirking while replying, I rolled my eyes while shaking my head and said, “Cocky much!?” 

“Very much!” He said in his signature flirty voice. “Don’t you have to report at the school premises early tomorrow for organising the party and shit?” I asked him narrowing my eyes, though I know he couldn’t see me but it’s just a habit of mine, sue me!

“What’s the time? Holy shit! It’s already 4 am! You’re a very bad distraction Miss A!” He said teasingly.

“Oh I was just getting started Mr. Z!” I flirted back. What!? Two can play this game too!

He laughed heartily and said, “I need to finish off some final presentations. I’ll see you tomorrow, or today, whatever! Don’t be late okay?”

“Aye aye captain! But do get some sleep!” I replied. “Yes ma’am! Bye A!” He said softly. “Bye Z!” I replied as I welcomed my one true love with open arms, or in simpler terms, as I fell asleep!


Next day, I reached the school premises by 10 am and started looking for my best friend V. I found him in the changing room, changing his tshirt to wear the Organising Committee members’ shirt. As he saw me barging in through the changing room door without knocking, he literally squealed like a girl and said, “A! I’m changing! Not cool!” I tried to copy his voice saying, “V! No one cares really! No!” “How I’ve missed your ingenious talent of insulting me left, right and centre!” V replied rolling his eyes. I made the most adorable puppy face possible and said, “Awww, I love you too V! Now get going, we have works to do!”

All of a sudden, V became very serious, “Hey, I need to tell you something!”

“What? Is everything okay?” I asked him with concern. V is not really the serious type you see, so when he gets serious, something is massively screwed!

“It’s about you and Z! People are starting to make all kinds of possible rumours about you two!” He said in a grave way. 

V is one of the very few people who actually knows the truth about Z and my relationship.

“But none of them actually know anything for real, do they?” I asked him. “No, none of them knows anything for sure, it’s just a lot of speculations and stuffs right now!” He said fixing his hair. “So what are they now? Sherlock fucking Holmes?” I asked getting extremely pissed. “Hey, calm down! They won’t know anything unless you and Z give them a reason to doubt you!” He said putting his hands on my shoulders trying to calm me down. I sighed, nodding my head slowly. “Good girl! Now, speaking of Z, where’s my brother?” He asked me. 

Did I forget to mention that V and Z are like brothers from different mothers? Yep, they are exactly that! They have known each other since their Huggies days, their fathers have known each other since their Huggies days, so V and Z were born to be brothers, it was in their blood!

“Did anyone say my name?” Speak of the devil! The two boys did their signature handshake as I stood there thinking about what V has told me earlier!

“Hey”, Z hugged me from the back wrapping his arms around my waist, “You don’t look so good!” He asked in a concerned tone. I sighed and turned around to face him, I noticed that V has already left the room, “Did you know about the rumours?” He sighed, “Yes and this is why I didn’t tell you! Don’t let it get to you A! I’ll handle this shit and to be honest, I don’t even care about what they say, as long as you’re here, I don’t even give two fucks about others!” This made me smile and I hugged him back. “That’s my girl! Now, go get changed, we have a party to organise!” He smiled and kissed me before leaving the room.

The rest of the day went off pretty smoothly, working and having fun with other members of the Committee. It’s always fun organising this party with the others, makes me feel like it’s my second home! By 6 pm, all our preparations were done and we were eagerly waiting for our guests to arrive to get this party started. I desperately needed to bum a smoke before getting into the party mood. Well, nicotine does help to pump up your nerves, so can you really blame me!? 

As I walked out of the school main gate to light a cigarette, I realised I haven’t brought my lighter with me, I was about to go back when I saw one of my batchmates walking towards me.

“Need some fire?” He asked with a grin. “Yeah thanks J!” I thanked him as he held out his lighter. “So, you and Z huh!?” He asked me while lighting his own cigarette. “What do you mean?” I asked him impassively, keeping my cool. “Oh, don’t act all innocent A! We all know what’s going on here!” He said with a smirk. 

How I would love to slap that bloody smirk off his face! “No, I don’t know! Please do enlighten me, My Lord!” I asked him, my voice dripping with sarcasm. 

“So you and Z are fucking each other! Tell me, how does it feel to fuck around with someone else’s man, huh!? Never thought you were that much of a whore A!” He said while blowing the smoke at my face.

I was livid and was raging inside. But I kept my cool in front of him and just said smirking, “I never claimed to be a saint J! In the last few years of our school life you should have known that! And by the way, what’s going on between Z and me has nothing to do with some lowlife cunt like you! Why don’t you do all of us a favour and mind your own fucking business!” With that I finished my cigarette leaving behind a very pissed off J and entered the school building.

I was angry, no cut that, I was fuming! I went to the washroom and boom, before I knew what I was doing, I punched the wall and then instantly realised that I’ve pretty badly sprained my right arm. “Fuck! I can’t stay here, I can’t! I have to go! Now!” I kept on mumbling this to myself as I raced to the changing room to grab my purse. The room was empty, everyone was in the auditorium enjoying the party, so I grabbed my purse and left without telling anyone!

By the time I’ve reached home, my phone was buzzing with messages and missed calls. I checked my phone, there were 11 missed calls and 7 messages from Z and some from V, all of them asking the same thing, “Where are you A?” “Fuck, you’re scaring me A, are you okay?”

I couldn’t bottle it up anymore and finally, I lost my shit and broke down. Once the tears started falling, there was no stopping them! 

“We need to talk!” That’s the only message I could manage to send Z before my hand started throbbing excruciatingly and I cried myself to sleep!

That’s the thing about pain. It demands to be felt.” – The Fault In Our Stars.

Foot note: Cliffhanger!!!! What will A do next? Will she push Z away or will she tell Z the truth and try to sort it out with him? Who knows!? Well, wait for Chapter 6! 😉

In the meantime, tell me what you think about this chapter? Did you guys like it? Please do comment me your feedbacks and suggestions! 

I love you all…. Xoxo….

– A. 😘

Her Secret!

Author’s note: Hey guys, so yeah I’m back with my 3rd Chapter of ‘Her Secret!’ You guys are awesome and thank you for the constant support! Love you all and so here’s another chapter about A and Z, read on! 😘

P. S.: If you’re a new reader then I’d suggest you read the Prologue and the first two chapters of ‘Her Secret!’ then come back to this one! 😊

  • Chapter-3:

It was always supposed to be my secret, but now it’s ours!

“What are we Z?” She asked him lying in his arms.

“I wish I knew that myself A!” He replied.

“Hey, but for your information, I don’t do the whole boyfriend-relationship thing!” She informed him with a smirk.

He chuckled and shook his head saying, “Why do I even try to think that you’ll be like other girls!?” 

She pouted looking hurt and said, “You insult me by comparing with other girls!”

He looked at her in a way that made her go red all over, “Yes, you are way too secretive and enigmatic to be compared with other girls!”

She suddenly sat up squealing with joy and said, “Then you can write a book like Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, featuring me instead of Harry obviously!”

Before she could understand what she has actually said, he started laughing, not chuckling or smirking, but laughing, a sight that made her heart melt and she thought to herself, “Gosh! What have I gotten myself into!” These feelings scared her, this wasn’t the first time she has been feeling this way, she knew all too well how this ‘love game’ ends, the past 5 years of her life have taught her well! At times it scared her so much that she wanted to run away from everything, even from the guy sitting in front of her, because she could’t even bear the thought of losing him and that scared her even more!

Lost in her thoughts, she didn’t realise that Z has been looking at her with an expression she couldn’t decipher.

“What!? Is there something on my face?” She asked touching her face.

He shook his head saying, “This doesn’t feel real at all!”

She snorted rolling her eyes and said, “Right, this isn’t real, you’re dreaming and I’m Gigi Hadid, happy!?”

“I’d rather prefer a Mia Khalifa than a Gigi Hadid!” He replied with a playful wink.

“Ewwww, gross! You did not just compare Gigi Hadid with Mia Khalifa!” She tossed a pillow at him. This made him grab her arm pulling her closer towards him, he leaned close to her ear, so close that she could feel his breath against her neck, and whispered, “No, I just want you!”

Suddenly the atmosphere wasn’t playful anymore and A thanked God Almighty that she was blessed with a dark complexion and Z couldn’t see how hard she was blushing! But surprisingly, God Almighty had other plans for her as Z slowly said,  “And right now, I want nothing more than to be inside of you!”

She almost choked on her own saliva but still managed to hold her ground saying, “You know if it’s just about sex, there are tons of girls out there waiting to get laid. I’m not interested, thank you very much!” She sat there looking impassive. 

Z immediately realised what he has done, “Hey, don’t even think for a second that it’s about sex, because it’s anything but that, I love you and nothing’s gonna change that! Okay?” He said hugging her tight.

She giggled and started tickling Z, knowing his soft spots, and said “I was just kidding dufus!” Z started laughing and glared playfully at A, saying, “Why you!!” She laughed and jumped off the bed trying to get away from Z, but Z being much faster grabbed A by the waist, pulling her back to the bed and soon it became a tickling competition and they became a laughing panting mess.

After a while, when both of them became too tired to continue, they just lay there, Z on top of A, panting heavily with huge grins on their faces. 

She stroked his hair looking into his beautiful brown eyes and asked that question again, “What are we Z?”

Z sighed, “You know I can’t do the whole commitment thing ever again A!”

“I can’t either!” She replied knowingly.

“I know, I like the way we are now, no labels, but still we do love each other more than anyone!”

“True, but it was supposed to be my secret!” She whispered.

“Shhh… now it will be our secret!” 

He promised her before kissing her neck and her mind became too clouded to think of anything else other than his lips on her body and how much she loved him!


-A. 😘

We found love in a hopeless place….” – Rihanna.

Foot note: So how was the chapter? Did you guys like it? Please do comment and share your feedbacks and suggestions!

Love you all… xoxo..  – A. 😘